Set forth below is the text of a comment that I recently put to the Suckers Buy It! forum:
There is always a range of opinion on any topic.
I think it would be fair to say that you are at one of the ends of the range in your views re SiteSell, Kristi. You are not a fan.
I think it would be fair to say that Ken Evoy is at the other end of the range. He thinks SiteSell is the cat pajama’s.
Everyone else is at a point on the range between those two extreme points.
The range is ever-changing.
Two years, ago, there would have been no one even close to where you stand. Today you have a good number of solid supporters. There were a lot more people close to Evoy’s position two years ago. He still has some people close to him today. But not as many.
My sense is that you see this forum as serving two purposes: (1) giving people unhappy with SiteSell a place to express their true feelings; and (2) helping people who have doubts learn what they need to learn to feel more confident about those doubts and to act on them.
The forum serves those purposes.
It is my belief that in the long term it would serve those purposes more effectively if a more balanced view were presented. It would also serve additional purposes, some of which I think might end up being more important than those two purposes.
I am not trying to suggest that you should water down your opinions. Every point on the range should be represented, in my view, and you hold one of those points and only by expressing your sincere beliefs can you help the community as a whole figure out what it needs to figure out. You need to be true to yourself.
When you said that you wanted to “dance on SiteSell’s grave,” I think you were trying to be true to yourself. I can see where you were coming from re that one. That’s the one that I think blew Ken Evoy’s mind more than any other . He sees that one as clear evidence of malice. It’s largely because of that statement that he views you as “the leader” and singles you out and all this sort of thing.
What I am trying to suggest is that making choices to employ overly aggressive ways of expressing your sincere beliefs causes others to hold back, to water down their beliefs so as not to appear too out of step with the dominant viewpoint.
That’s what I don’t like about the SiteSell forums. People are afraid to say what they believe there. I think people are afraid to say what they believe here too. If you ran things differently, you would get SiteSell loyalists coming over here and trying to make the case for SiteSell. I think that would be a good thing.
Some of those people might start out by saying that they would like to dance on your grave. Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if they were permitted to vent in that way. Perhaps they would come to realize after venting that you are not nearly the monster that Evoy makes you out to be. And perhaps you would come to realize that Evoy is not nearly the monster you make him out to be.
When everyone is shouting, no one is listening.
You make many good and important points. You have influenced things in a positive way, in my assessment. Rightly or wrongly, I happen to believe that you would have MORE of a positive influence if you pulled in the reins a bit. And that would make all this unfortunate lawsuit business go away too.
Everyone deep in his or her heart wants that stuff to go away. We need to find a path that gets us there. I think we get there by making a little bit of an effort to hear what the other guy is saying without going so far as to be untrue to ourselves.