Set forth below is the text of a comment that I recently posted to the Suckers Buy It! forum:
I’m not going to change my personal views here just to make it sound more balanced…And I know that’s not what you are suggesting.
Thanks so much for saying that last part, Kristi. I do NOT want you to say anything short of what you truly believe. I know the feeling that you experience when people tell you to do that. I’ve had that sort of thing said to me thousands of times. And I don’t want to moderate my views. I want to be free to say precisely what I believe. I understand 100 percent why you feel the same.
But there’s nothing I can do to force more “balanced” views here. I’ve invited Ken, Stacy Holmes, and Daniel here to have their say. So far, they’ve declined.
We aren’t in agreement re this one. You have baited them. That’s not inviting a conversation.
You could put up a thread addressed to Daniel. You could say up front that you promise not to engage in any baiting. You could say that you stand by your factual statements but that you would like to take things in a positive direction. Ask him to pick one issue and one issue only to discuss on that thread, with the aim of seeing whether you can find any common ground with him. And then really try to find common ground (without saying one word that you do not believe).
Say that he picks the issue of Penguin and that he argues that SiteSell sites did better than the average of WordPress sites re Penguin. You could respond: “Look, I don’t know every in and out of this and no one does. What I know is that the top SiteSell sites were hit hard. I believe strongly that the people still at SiteSell need to hear that from Ken and that all the people hit deserve to hear an apology from Ken.”
Then let him have his say as to whether he agrees or not.
And don’t feel compelled even to answer him if what he says is not 100 percent satisfactory.
Say that he says: “Some SiteSell sites were hit hard but our numbers show that we are coming back, blah, blah, blah.” You might just say “I know lots of people that were hit hard and I continue to believe that those people deserve apologies. But thanks for sharing your thoughts re this matter.”
By putting it that way, you win that round. You are seen as taking the high road.
LOTS of people who are not saying so believe that Ken should apologize. All of those people are pulled to your side when you respond that way. They may not declare on the day the words go up that they side with you. But they will feel pulled in your direction.
That way over time you get stronger and the guy who won’t make an apology gets weaker. This is how you win (in my view — this is just what I believe, everything I say needs to be caveated with an acknowledgment that I may be wrong).
I have ZERO respect for a man like that
In moot court in law school, one of the things you were required to do was to switch sides halfway through. You would argue 15 minutes for the plaintiff and then a bell would ring and you would walk to the other side of the stage and argue 15 minutes for the defendant. What would you say about our friend Ken if you were compelled to make the case for him?
Here are five things I would say:
1) He was smart enough to see a way to win on the internet that really worked years before many others saw it;
2) He is genuine in his excitement when one of his customers wins big;
3) He works hard;
4) He is “transparent” in the sense that he shows up on the forums almost daily. And DOES permit some criticism (although obviously not as much as you and I would like to see him permit); and
5) He truly does not want to sue you (I think he makes a mistake when he threatens to do so but I believe that he feels trapped and sees no other options).
You can’t say any of those things that you don’t believe. You have to be true to yourself. But you must see that he is not 100 percent monster. Anything positive you say about him helps in two ways: (1) it makes you stronger because it makes it harder for him to bring a lawsuit against you; and (2) it makes him weaker because his supporters are impressed when they see you say something positive about him.
The things that you seem to be referring to happened in another forum. Not here. And that thread is locked, so there’s absolutely nothing I can do to change it.
Things you say here today add context to things you said at another place at an earlier time.
You said: “I want to dance on SiteSell’s grave.”
Here are two possible new statements:
1) “Ken Evoy crossed me and I want to send a message that anyone who crosses me pays a big price. I am going to see him buried if it’s the last thing I do”; and
2) “I said that I want to dance on SiteSell’s grave because I am friends with people who were hurt by things he taught and it pains me that those people were not offered apologies. Now all I hear is that I should be less extreme. I don’t think it’s extreme to long for justice. If SiteSell changed and showed more caring re the people it has hurt, I would not want to see it go out of business. If that happened, I can even imagine endorsing SiteSell for a small number of newbies. But the emotion behind that statement remains true. It really does upset me what was done here and I cannot apologize for feeling strongly about it.”
But I CANNOT FORCE PEOPLE to come here and leave “pro-SBI” comments
I am willing to help out with some pro-SBI statements.
I won’t ever become known for offering ONLY pro-SBI statements. Because I have some anti-SBI statements to make as well. But I am happy to provide some balance by offering some pro-SBI statements. And I am confident that some others will join me.
I’m getting SO FREAKING TIRED of being the one tagged as the “extremist”, when Ken’s rants are every bit as extreme as mine are.
I hope that you and I are friends, Kristi. I am not sure if that’s so or not. But it is what I want.
Part of what makes me want to be friends if that I get what you are saying here loud and clear. I think it’s possible that I get it better than anyone else. Because I have been in this movie for 11 years running now. I have had the most extremist people in the world call me “extremist.” And I have been threatened with lawsuits by these people, just as you have been threatened with lawsuits by people who behaved in an extremist way and then called you the extremist. The people who threaten to sue you have as their one good card the fact that they have millions to put behind a lawsuit. The people who threaten to sue me have hundreds of BILLIONS. I get your feeling loud and clear.
You don’t want the bad guys to win. So you can’t give them any edge. He baits you because he wants to win and that’s one way he might pull it off despite the circumstances.
You know Rosa Parks, the black woman who refused to go to the back of the bus when kindly instructed to do so? If she had started swinging her purse at the people telling her to go to the back of the bus, none of us would have ever heard the name “Rosa Parks.” Her job was not only to refuse to walk to the back of the bus. The second part of her job was to listen to the abuse that was directed at her and to respond by calming repeating her message: “I have a right to my seat here in the front of the bus and I intend to insist on recognition of that right here today.”
Rosa Parks won her fight. But it didn’t have to turn out that way. She won because she combined determination with self-restraint. You have to have both to achieve a breakthrough (in my assessment).
To change the status quo, you need to be BETTER than the people trying to protect the status quo. You need to rise above any garbage they send in your direction.
Somebody with a freaking BACKBONE needs to go tell Ken.
Oh, we’ve FOUND that person! That position is , like, totally FILLED. The person for that job is this crazy woman who owns an interior design site. Let me tell you, she’s got brass ones!